Six Billion Secrets
by iwastetimechasingcars
Summary: Secrets so sad, it's a skeleton in your closet. Secrets so horrifying, it makes you look at everything differently. They were secrets. Why? Because everyone has them.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This idea has been on my mind for a while now. I don't really give a shit if I have three other stories. I know where they're going, when to update, how to write it and all. I just simply need a break every once in a while. **

**Kay, so basically these chapters will be inspired about posts used on SixBillionSecrets(dot)com using the characters of Shugo Chara! **

**Because we all know that Life isn't a nice person. **

**Disclaimer: The **_**dis**_** is used to contradict something. The **_**claimer**_** is used to claim owner ship. And, well, I just disclaimed that own SixBillionSecrets and Shugo Chara. Don't hate, because you don't either. **

**You know, unless you're Peach-Pit.**

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><p><span>I'm Anorexic.<span>

**I've barely eaten all year, the only reason I eat sometimes if for my seven year old sister.**

**Mom, you know something's wrong.**

**You hear my stomach rumble and notice how I never get up.**

**I'm guessing you don't care, that's fine by me.**

**As long as you stop calling me fat.**

* * *

><p>Amu stared at the plate of chicken and rice in front of her in disgust, even though her stomach growled, begging for the savory flavors to explode in her mouth.<p>

But she wouldn't have any of it. She wasn't about to gain a pound or two from a piece of chicken when she had just lost 24 pounds and 4 inches in her waist in the past two months.

No. She couldn't. She couldn't have it. She didn't deserve it.

_If you eat, you'll get fat. _

She heard the voice clearly in her head, on the voice belonged to her mother, who was praising her younger daughter, Ami, for getting a golden sticker on her spelling test.

Amu made a small move to get a piece of chicken and bit her lower lip. Her mouth was salivating for the food, salivating to end the hunger she had.

She _wanted_ to eat.

But she wasn't about to eat.

No, she just needs her mom to see how pretty she is. How pretty her daughter would be if she was thin—no, skinny. She wanted her rib cage to show.

"Amu?" Ami called for her older sister. Amu looked away from the cooked meat and up at her little sister. "Aren't you going to eat?"

Amu snuck a glance at her mother, who was looking at her expectantly.

"Yeah." She muttered, grabbing her fork and grabbed a small piece of chicken and stuffed it in her mouth.

It was most definitely the best damn chicken she ever had due to her starvation.

"Don't have too much," Amu's mother grabbed a piece of her own chicken, "You'll get _fat."_

Amu stood up, "I'm sorry, I'm not really hungry right now."

* * *

><p><span>The only reason I didn't kill myself tonight is because I remembered the look on your face when you saw the cuts on my hip.<span>

**I won't do anything ever again to keep you from smiling.**

**It lights up a room.**

* * *

><p>"Ikuto…" She traced the slashes on my hip with her forefinger gently. It only tickled, but I flinched. Nobody had ever been this close to me. Let alone seen the cuts I had.<p>

The look on her face was horrified, despair, sympathy, melancholy, depressing. It was a mixture of sad emotions.

Sad for me.

I put my shirt back down quickly.

"Please don't tell anyone," I asked pleadingly, "They can't know."

Amu looked at me and hugged me loosely—an obvious attempt to not hurt the fresh cuts. "I love you too much to tell anyone."

I hugged her back. "I'm glad."

She smiled at me, a true _genuine_ smile. It was a smile that was soft, and it made me cry. I couldn't help it. I just cried, holding onto her, and she held on back.

"I want you to stop depending on your body for relaxation," she told me, "and to depend on me."

Those words, that memory, that _voice_ was enough to stop me as I held the gun in my hand.

"_Leave your body out of this, use mine instead."_

"_But I'll hurt you."_

"_I don't think you will."_

"_I can."_

"_Just as long as you get better."_

I wasn't going to kill myself—no.

Amu Hinamori is too nice to have a reason to frown over a mess like me.

"_Then you're my beautiful mess."_

* * *

><p><span>My secret is something happy.<span>

**Shouldn't we all have happy secrets once in a while? I painted a picture for a girl in my school. That was the first time I've ever seen her smile.**

**She and I are now really close. She told me I saved her from suicide. I'm so glad I didn't go through with it. **

* * *

><p>Her smile was the equivalent of angels dancing on her face, her eyes, her lips.<p>

I loved the fact that I made her happy when I first saw her smile.

I loved the fact that _I _can be the one who makes her happy.

I loved the fact that she was the girl I saved.

I love the fact that she's the most beautiful girl in the world.

I love the fact that she's in her wedding dress, blushing, hiding, _smiling_ at me.

"Do you, Nagihiko Fujisaki take Rima Mashiro to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Is what the crowd heard. But Instead, I heard, "Do you, Nagihiko Fujisaki, take Rima Mashiro to be the girl you saved and marry her?"

"I do."

"And that's how our wedding will be like." I told Rima, Rima tucked a blonde strand of hair behind her ear and scoffed.

"You _really _think you're going to marry me _just_ because you painted me a picture?" She asked.

I nodded. "I saved your life too."

"I saved something for you too."

"What would that be?"

"My first kiss."

"**You may now kiss the bride." **

And I bent down, she leaned up, and our lips met.

* * *

><p><span>I have an intense fear of aging, and it's not just the thought of having wrinkles.<span>

**Just thinking about going to college in a few years, or ever getting married and having kids sends me in a mini-panic attack.**

**My secret?**

**I never planned to live past the age of 18. I have one year to go.**

* * *

><p>"Your kids will be so cute, Rima!" Amu squealed at the short blonde. Rima blushed.<p>

"Shut up." She said. "Yours will be just as adorable."

Amu blushed in return and pointed at Utau. "What about her and Kukai? Knowing them, their wedding will be the wedding of a lifetime."

Utau laughed, "I'm already planning!"

I laughed, they think it was such a joke, the way they think kids, weddings, and just getting older was a nice time.

It all scared me.

Everyone asked me why I act like a kid.

The first thing I say is that it's fun.

But really, I think of growing older is a nightmare. Having kids who just need, need, _need. _Or getting married, and expecting so much, but you get nothing. And aging? It makes you see what you did wrong when you were younger. It seemed like such _torture _to endure it all.

"What about you, Yaya?" Amu asked. I looked up at the pinkette. "Who do you want to get married with?"

I got nervous.

"With anybody Yaya loves!" I shouted, a smile plastered on my face, "And to anybody that loves Yaya back!"

Amu, Utau, and Rima gave me a smile.

"Then it won't be that hard to find the right person, will it?" Utau asked.

I nodded in agreement.

But I completely disagreed. It could only be easy if I found that person before I turned 18.

I had 187 days left.

* * *

><p><span>I'm thirteen years old.<span>

**I have depression, OCD, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, two eating disorders, and I cut.**

**I wish so much that I could be a kid again and not have anything to worry about.**

* * *

><p>Dear God, did Amu hate food. She hated eating it, and she hated the way it came out.<p>

She didn't like to eat, but when she did, she barfed it up in the toilet.

She's scared that she can never make her parents proud, so she turned into a perfectionist.

She gets scared every time someone gets close to her.

She would kill herself is she was always this sad.

She would use her body for her own ridding-of-the-sad.

Her parents didn't need to know that she had the urge to get an even haircut, just to make her seem normal. Her parents didn't need to know that she and food weren't very good friends. Her parents didn't need to know that she's scared of people. Her parents didn't need to know how sad she became, and how she vents. Her parents didn't need to know she was about to kill herself.

With the blade in her hand, and her wrist full of cuts—all avoiding her vein—she gripped the metal tighter.

She placed the sharp end of the blade on her light-skinned wrist, ready to cut.

"I want to die a kid." She chanted.

She repeated it over and over again, tears blurring her vision, sweat tickling her face, nervous erupting in her stomach, and arms around her waist.

A hand reached to Amu's wrist—which was frozen—and nicked the blade away from her.

Hair tickling her face, she leaned and sobbed into Ikuto.

She just wanted to be a kid again.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: How'd that go? Keep or delete? I kind of have an act to make people suicidal and depressed *cough* NineLives *cough*.**

**But I REALLY couldn't stand the thought of Amu killing herself. I just had to add a bit of Amuto there. **

**So, R&R? Keep or delete? Fave? Alert? Like? **

**Any of the above would be nice and appreciated. Especially reviews. GAWD I love them. **

**Well, if you're going to review, which one, if any, relates to you most? Which one did you like? Which needed more work? Which was just plain sad?**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Aw shucks!

Ya'll are sweet as can be. I mean 8 reviews for the first chapter? That's the most.

Like EVER.

Well, for me anyway.

Keep in mind, every time you review, I add two confessions on my profile page. So go check that out? Some of it is funny.

* * *

><p><strong>Review Responses: <strong>

**XxXNekoKissesXxX: **I'm glad you like that site. It's so sad when I see ne that relates to me.

**xXBlue 'N Green DinysawrssXx: **That relates to me too actually. I think it's because of the rational fear people get when they think about leaving and breaking away from their families.

**Mi-Chan42: **Was it that bad? I'm sowwie.

**Yhesi01: **This is why I love you.

**SunlightMoon: **Does this count as a fast update? I usually write these sooner. But school is…. Uck.

**KidTantei: **Thanks ^-^ But the thing is, I didn't want to put a minor character because…. I didn't think of it. I lack creativity in common sense.

**Xiannnz: **I think the one about Yaya was the most well-written one I put up out of the five. But if you want to post up the chapters on the site, feel free. I'll be glad to read them.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>There is a reason why I'm writing down the FANfiction and not the OWNERfiction.

* * *

><p><span>I love my best friend's dad, as a dad.<span>

**Although I love my own dad, I wish he would joke with me like my friend's dad does with her and her sister.**

**Or spontaneously hug me.**

**Or tell me how he loves me whenever he feels like it.**

**Her dad once told me that as long as I was with them, I was part of their family.**

**I wish I could always be with them. **

* * *

><p>"You want your regular, Rima?" Amu asked, poking her head out of the kitchen doorway to look at the blonde.<p>

"Yeah." She replied, taking her shoes off. Amu returned to the kitchen and came back out with a can r Dr. Pepper in her hand and a licorice stick in the other.

"One Dr. Pepper and a licorice straw." Amu chimed as she handed the soda and red Twizzler to Rima. Rima popped the cap open and stuck the Twizzler in, sucking out of it almost immediately.

Amu turned around and plopped on the couch, sighing in content as she finally relaxed.

"Let's get started on our Chemist—"

"—AMU!"

Amu fell onto the hardwood floor, her dad glomping her tightly.

"Dad…" She whined, tying to wriggle her way out of his grasp. "I have homework…"

Rima giggled as her dad refused to let go.

"But I want to hug you!"

"Dad! The homework is a big part of my grade! I don't want Rima to fail with me!"

"I'll home school you guys!"

Rima giggled again as Amu was finally able to get away from him.

"I'm going to take Rima to my room." Amu huffed, getting behind the blonde and pushing her upstairs.

"Have fun!" Her dad called after the two.

The front door creaked open, and a high-pitched squeaky voice echoed.

"Daddy!"

"Ami!"

Rima giggled again—something she was caught doing a lot at the Hinamori household when Amu's father was home.

"Keep walking, Rima. The faster we go, the less hugging I receive." Amu said.

They finally made it to her room, where Amu plopped on her bed, sighing.

"You laugh at my pain a lot." Amu noted, taking out her large Chemistry book from her shelf.

"It's not my fault your dad loves you so much." Rima answered back, taking a seat next to her.

"The hugging gets annoying though." Amu replied, a smile on her face.

_Then why do I want it so bad?_

* * *

><p><span> Your court hearing was today, and you might get up to 7 years for something that was your father's fault.<span>

**You weren't at school today, you haven't answered your phone all day, and your mom came to school and grabbed everything out of your locker.**

**Michael G, if you're reading this, I love you. **

**A lot. **

* * *

><p><strong>From Ikuto: <strong>

I'm a nervous wreck right now

**From Amu: **

Relax, everything will be fine, I trust that lawyer

**From Ikuto: **

Funny. I don't.

**From Ikuto:**

I havta go. The court hearing is about to start and the lawyer is taking away my phone.

**From Amu: **

Good luck (:

**From Ikuto: **

Thanks (:)

0_0_0

"Did Ikuto show up today?" Amu asked, taking a bite out of her pizza. Utau looked up at her, remorse filling her violet eyes.

"I was hoping he was going to be there in orchestra while I was picking the string instruments for the concert…" Utau trailed off. Amu knew what that meant: no.

"What about PE?" Amu asked, looking at Kukai. Kukai sighed.

"Amu," he began, in a brotherly way, "Ikuto is tough guy, he can take care of himself."

Amu looked down at her food, not hungry anymore. Utau slapped the brunette.

"Ow!" he said, rubbing the lump forming on his head. "What was that for?"

"You know that Amu just wants to be there for Ikuto!" She said, "Don't be such an asshole to her!"

Kukai looked down at his plate of spaghetti, thinking it through. Amu _did _have a thing for Ikuto. Who wouldn't have a thing for someone who countless of times is always there for you?

"Rima, you know it wasn't my fault!"

"That's a lie!"

The petite and anger-filled blonde took a seat next to Amu, and the lean purplette took a seat next to Kukai.

Nagihiko was first to notice Amu's missing 'what happened _this _time.'

"Anything wrong?" Nagihiko asked, his voice full of concern. Amu shook her head and stood up.

"I'm going to get my science book from my locker." She grabbed her tray throwing it in the trash, and grabbed her backpack, leaving the cafeteria.

Her locker was close to the cafeteria, very close in fact. Sometimes she had to move the trashcan out of the way because of how foul the milk smelled.

But this time she saw it.

Long, gorgeous, silky blonde hair, and lovely violet eyes. She had only met her once before, when she had dropped off Ikuto at his house once because he was too lazy to walk home, but she knew who she was.

Souku Hoshina.

She was digging into Ikuto's infamous locker, where love letters, candy and pieces of paper from random girls were stuffed in there being thrown into the trash, grabbing his books, pencils and his violin case.

Amu dropped her backpack at two things: Ikuto's violin case—had he really forgotten it?—and his mom. She looked at Amu, recognizing her and gave her a forced smile.

Something was wrong.

**From Amu: **

I love you.

* * *

><p><span>One of my best friends has a younger sister that everyone hates.<span>

**They all call her ugly and fat.**

**Personally, I think she's beautiful.**

* * *

><p>"Utau the Shamu."<p>

Ikuto froze next to me, anger filling his body. He clenched his fist next to me, while on the other, his girlfriend, Amu was looking up at him worriedly.

"They only say that because—" she began.

"—I know why they say it. I just don't know why they won't shut up even after she's been told 200 times." He cut her off.

"Utau? Who's she?" I asked. I had only heard the name callings from a distance, but I never really paid much attention to them.

Ikuto sent me a glare I've never seen before—filled with hate.

"She's my sister. One word that I hear that is bad about her, I will _kill_ you." He stated. He turned around, heading to his music class, Amu trailing behind him.

Ikuto had been my best friend since kindergarten. But I had never met his family or gone to his house.

I sighed, walking the short distance from the middle f the hallway to my bland green locker. I hated my spot. Right next to me was a white locker always full of post-its, each of them having hateful comments. At first it was interesting, but by now you would think that the comments wouldn't do anything to them.

What was my combination again? 32-14-20? 17-29-6?

"It's 32-29-6."

I turned my head, to the locker where all the hate was at—_seriously,_ you could feel hate radiating off of it—and there she was. Blonde hair in pigtails, violet eyes, wearing a black Lolita dress.

"Um… thanks?" I said, working the combination, and effectively unlocking it. "How did you…?"

"My brother told me it. He said you forget at times." She explained, turning around to unlock her own.

"Wait. Brother? The only guy who knows my combo is—"

"Ikuto."

She unlocked her white locker, stuffing a geometry text book in there.

"Wait. So you're Utau?" I asked. Her body tensed up, frozen with something as _unmistakable fear._

She shook her head and bit her bottom lip. "I am but—"

Rumors were wrong. She wasn't anything they said.

"You're gorgeous."

She looked at me, shock in her eyes.

Did I say something I wasn't supposed to?

* * *

><p><span>I finally had my moment.<span>

**After struggling with my body image and weight for years, I finally won first place in a solo dance competition. **

**And when I read the judges comments, it just said absolutely beautiful. **

**Thank you. **

* * *

><p><strong>Dance. Dance. <strong>

With a twirl, Nadeshiko smiled as the green spotlight beamed on her.

This was so much fun.

Just her, the music and her feet.

**Dance. Dance. **

"_No! Nadeshiko! Don't eat that cake! It will take too long to work that off!"_

**Dance. Dance until we die. **

She twirled again. That memory was nothing but a simple fidget in her right now.

**Dance, Just you and I.**

She twirled again. What song was this? What dance style was it anyway?

It was too old to be modern. But not old enough to be traditional.

**Dance, out your ups and downs.**

"_Then what _can_ I eat? I'm hungry and that's all in the fridge!" _

A quick pop with her ankle, a pencil turn and a scorpion.

**Dance, out your daily frowns.**

This was happiness, wasn't it?

The feeling of freedom after being locked so long?

Was this dance even allowed?

"_There's a fruit tree outside!" _

"_That's all I've been eating for days!" _

**Dance, life can be a joy. **

Nagihiko obviously wasn't allowed in this competition. No, only Nadeshiko was.

Where did she learn this dance anyway? Didn't she see it when she was Nagihiko?

No, she's not Nagi right now. Right now, Nade is winning an award.

**I am nothing but a simple boy.**

* * *

><p><span>My boyfriend and I fought last night.<span>

**I yelled at him then ignored his plees to talk.**

**This morning, he wrote "I love you" on my hand. When he did, I saw the fresh cuts on his wrist for the first time in years. **

**I've never felt so guilty. I'm so sorry. **

* * *

><p>"I don't want to talk to you right now."<p>

"_At least tell me why, Rima." _

"Why? _Because_ Nagihiko, I saw you with my _best friend!"_

"_It wasn't how it looked like!"_

"Then what was it? The fact that every time I look for you, I only need to look for Amu because you're always with her? I'm getting sick of it!"

Rima huffed, hung up her phone and threw it on her bed.

0_0_0

Rima wasn't exactly the time to get jealous. But it was her boyfriend, and her best friend. She's heard stories like these, where the guy she likes always prefers the best friend.

It was heartbreaking.

School wasn't exactly the right place to go to when you have a heart break either.

People don't care.

"I'm sorry, Rima."

Arms snaked around Rima's thin waist in a secure hold. Rima didn't fidget.

Nagihiko grabbed her hand holding her book, and pulled out a black Sharpie.

The felt tickled her skin, the intoxicating smell reached her nose.

**I love you. **

Rima looked up at Nagihiko, hurt on both of their faces. Rima dropped her textbook on the ground, not caring.

He had cuts on his arms.

She hugged onto him tightly. He smelled of some kind of flower—Carnation?

"I'm so sorry, Nagi." She said, breathing into his shirt. With the hand he wrote on, she grabbed hiswrist carefully. "Don't do it again."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I think that one was worse than the last one. **

**WOW. **

**Gosh I'm hungry. **

**I think the saddest was the second one.**

**Again, which do you relate to most?**

**R&R? **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey guys. **

**I keep disappearing off the face of the earth. I know. I get it. **

**You can kill me if you want. Just don't… like… hurt me. **

**Yeah, so, um. **

**I disclaim ownership of both Shugo Chara! and Six Billion Secrets. **

**Time to Respond to Reviews. **

**XxXNekoKissesXxX **Gawsh, yer so nice. :3

**xVietNeonNinja **Thank you for your support. c:

**KidTantei **Thank you ^-^ I try to see which secrets go well with which characters to entertain you guys. I always try to have some parts of the secret at least have one happy moment. If it doesn't, then, well, ._. that's really sad.

**Xiannnz **Oh gawsh, thank you. And I know how you feel about your parents. You deserve a hug. I'd give you one, but the characters I use for hugs won't show up. -_- stupid web site.

**Optimistic Dreamer **I saw one story like this in the Harry Potter fandom, but they haven't updated. Thanks for the support.

**BuBuBoom **I like how you described each mini-story in your review. Thanks for taking the time for that, it means a lot to me.

**Alright, now time to start. **

**Oh, and I have the SixBillionSecrets App, so I'm not quite sure if the secret will show up correctly. **

**If it doesn't, I truly apologize. **

* * *

><p><span>I don't have any real friends, that know the true side of me. <span>

**I'm always the one left out. **

**But today, I was happy. **

**One of the special needs kids, told me I looked really good in the outfit I was wearing.**

**Sometimes, true friends aren't the thing you need.**

* * *

><p>Rima bent over the bookshelf, looking for a Dr. Seuss book.<p>

But damn, were they hard to find. Each book in the bookshelf looked brand new—well kept, no tears, no writing—that it was shocking this was a special needs class.

"Rima!" called the teacher, "I think they're on the top shelf!"

Rima mentally groaned and stood up looking at the top shelf. Sure enough, Dr. Seuss and Curious George was placed carefully.

"I got it, Rima." Nagihiko said, standing beside her and stretching up to get a book. He pulled out two books and handed them to her.

Rima looked at the books and back up at Nagihiko. "They already read these."

Nagihiko took the books and replaced them with two other books. With no thank you, Rima grabbed the books and turned to the teacher. She had no use for people like him.

She handed the books to the teacher while the other teachers put the kids on the carpet. In the front of the room. The cross-ages stood in the perimeter of the room cleaning up.

She picked up fallen stuffed toys and put them in a box.

These kids—they had each other, their teachers, the staff, even peers to help them.

But Rima had no one.

She knew all the cross-ages in the class. And she could name them off by hair and eye color if she had too. But she was the short ice queen who had a soft spot for the special needs kids.

Sure, she considered the other cross-ages her friends, but not the people she would spill secrets to. The only one she might have trusted with her secrets was probably Ikuto, since he had so many secrets of his own, but he in a relationship with Amu, who was one of the most popular kids in schools – and no way was she stupid enough to be talking about all that heartfelt bull crap with her boyfriend.

She bent over and picked up a stuffed yellow bunny and popped it into a basket with other yellow stuffed toys.

She felt a tug on her dress, shot straight up and turned around to glare the person who pulled her dress.

There was a little girl with her pigtails tied in pink scrunchies, a mismatched brown shirt, and a soft orange skirt. She looked up at Rima curiously, who softened her gaze.

"You look… really pretty," she said slowly, trying to get each word right, "pretty."

Rima smiled.

This was why she liked working with them so much.

* * *

><p><span>Yesterday on the subway a lady told me I was the prettiest girl she had ever seen. <span>

**And to never let any boy treat me like crap. I promised myself when I'm her age I am going to tell a girl the same thing. Thank you. **

* * *

><p>Souku ran through the crowded subway, her long blonde hair trailing behind her.<p>

Just where were they? Where were her friends?

The seventeen-year-old looked through the crowded subway and back down at the pamphlet in her hand.

_They landed 10 minutes ago, _she thought, _where is the coke machine we always meet at? _

There was a gentle tap on her shoulder, she spun around expecting to see either a mess of blue hair, brown hair in a neat bun, or possibly even bright red hair.

Instead, she found graying hair in a short hairstyle.

"Can I help you?" Souku asked politely, looking at the old woman.

The old woman smiled at her, and shook her head.

"You," she said, "are the prettiest girl I have ever seen." Souku looked around warily. "And you should let no boy ever hurt you."

She nodded, and gave a smile before walking away.

Souku only stood there in a haze, trying to digest what she had just been told.

And she smiled.

"Souku!"

She turned around at the familiar voice and saw all three of her friends: Aruto, Yukari, and Midori.

She walked towards them, already knowing of what to do when she would be older.

"What's the matter with you, Blondie?" Aruto asked, ruffling her hair.

Souku smacked his arm away. "Nothing."

"What was that about?" Midori asked, nodding her head in the direction of the old woman.

Souku snuck a glance at Aruto, who looked at her curiously.

"Nothing that needs to be said now." She laughed as Aruto looked upset.

But it would be something to be repeated in the future.

* * *

><p><span>I tell my mom that I don't know how I fell so far behind in school.<span>

**The truth is, I do know. **

**Every day in class, I draw. **

**Drawing makes me happy. **

**It's all I'm good at. **

**Mom, I want to be an artist. **

**How is Chemistry or Algebra going to help me with that?**

**I'm wasting my time in school.**

* * *

><p>Miki never paid attention in math. It was so… ick.<p>

Instead, she entrusted her life to her partner, Yoru. They sat in the back, right next to eachother. While he actually took notes, she doodled to her heart's content.

"He's looking at—" Yoru began to whisper.

"Miki!" Miki's head shot up like a bullet. "What's the answer of the example?"

Miki looked down at her drawing, as if her drawings had the answer.

"I didn't… I didn't finish it…" Miki admitted sheepishly.

"And why not?" The teacher's voice shot like an arrow through Miki's paper.

"She was helping me with the last example," Yoru said quickly, "I didn't get it."

The teacher looked at Yoru, deciding Yoru was telling the truth, returned to the lesson.

Miki turned to Yoru, mouthing a thank you. Yoru glanced up, and pointed to his page with his pen. Miki knew what this meant: pretend you were actually helping him. She leaned over to his notebook, grabbing her pen and drew on the corner of his page.

"Thanks." Miki said, "That's another one I owe you."

"Well, you wouldn't have to owe me if you drew me as a cat." Yoru said.

Miki gave a quiet laugh, "It's hard drawing your eyes." She said, "I can't get the color right with my color pencils either."

"Because you need a better brand than what you have," he replied, looking at what she was drawing, "Ask your mom to—"

"My mom wants me to do something practical," Miki's smile changed to a frown, "like Ran and Daichi."

"Considering they aren't even family," Yoru rolled his eyes, "and becoming a pro athlete has less chance than becoming a published author or an artist."

Miki backed off a bit, revealing a cute little cat looked down at the notes Yoru wrote curiously. "If someone like P.C Cast can do it, then even _I _can become one. And I suck at English."

"Well," Yoru sat back in the chair, "If your mother won't support you, you know that I as hell will." He held up his pinkie, which Miki happily wrapped her own pinky around.

"Thanks."

* * *

><p><span>My best friend is dying of cancer. <span>

**He has three weeks to live. **

**He told me that he wants his funeral to be more like a party, and he wants everyone wearing band shirts. **

**Yeah, I giggled and told him that would be a good idea. **

**But I don't think I'm strong enough to talk while he's lying in a casket. **

* * *

><p>Utau could see it in his eyes. How life was seeping out through him, how the green wasn't like it used to be.<p>

"I want it to be a party." He said as the nurse left the room. "With cake and everything."

Utau forced a smile, "Then it's like we'd be celebrating your own death."

"Death, huh?" Kukai looked up at the white ceiling. "Maybe I should be like Harry Potter and greet guest like an old friend."

"I can't believe you were able to read all seven of them in a month." Utau shook her head.

"It's one of the books you should read before you die." Kukai shrugged.

The hospital room smelled heavily of antibacterial stuff. Utau had no idea how Kukai could possibly stay like this in one spot for the next three weeks.

"Okay, no cake," Kukai said, finally looking at the blonde, "How about everyone wears a band shirt?"

Utau gave him a small smile, "I don't have any band shirts."

"Okay, then my closest friends get to wear mine." Kukai pointed a finger at her, "And you have the privilege to get first dibs."

Utau gave another smile, "That's a great idea, Kukai."

Kukai leaned over and grabbed her hand. He pointed to the ceiling. "Meet me in heaven," he gave it a squeeze, "Kay, blondie?"

Utau nodded, in fear that tears could come out, that he voice would have been choked, or that even she just tackled him in a hug and cried.

Kukai smiled. "All my band shirts are in a trash bag in my closet. You can't miss it. There's sharpie all over it with random crap."

Utau nodded again, "Don't miss us in heaven. There won't be much to miss."

Kukai shook his head, "There'll be ton to miss. Like you playing your acoustic in the park with everyone and singing to random songs." Kukai looked back up at the ceiling, "I'll miss that."

"Then I'll go sing at your grave," Utau's voice cracked, and an involuntary tear came out, "Everyday if I can."

"There's one thing I know I'll miss." Kukai caught the falling tear with his tear. "Hey, don't cry. You're way prettier when you smile."

Utau looked up. "What'll you miss?"

"This." And then, Kukai leanmed over and kissed the blonde.

* * *

><p><span>I learned how to read and write when I was four. <span>

**I was always smarter than the kids in my class. **

**It made me feel superior.**

**I had a brain tumor appear in sixth grade. **

**They had to remove it. It caused me to go in a coma. **

**When I came out I had to relearn everything. **

**I am 20 and I just graduated HS.**

**I lied about my age so no one would judge me.**

* * *

><p>Kairi held the diploma sadly. How long ago should he have gotten this? He was 20,and he could've graduated when he was 16… so… 4 years? Yeah that sounded about right.<p>

He could hear Yukari's music playing from the next room over. What song was it? He heard it before. Some Green Day song? No, Yukari hated that music.

"So you finally graduated, huh?" Ikuto sat next to him, grabbing the diploma. "You were valedictorian too. That's great."

"How long ago did you graduate?" Kairi asked the older boy.

"About 6 years ago. Could've been 8 if I managed to get a scholarship."

"Oh." If Kairi did the math right, then he could've graduated with Kukai, before Amu, but after Ikuto.

"Don't bug yourself over it too much." Ikuto said, "It wasn't your fault. And you learned things faster than anybody else in the class."

Kairi shook his head. "I couldn't graduate with anybody I knew. I was stuck graduating after."

"But you still passed that test in 10th grade. You automatically moved to senior year. That takes a serious pair of balls."

"If I need a pep talk like that, I'd go to Kukai." Kairi rolled his eyes and grabbed his diploma back.

"Sorry, I think I've been hanging around him too much." Ikuto said. "Kairi Sanjo: The boy who learned it all."

"Kairi Sango: The boy who graduated 4 years late."

Ikuto looked at his watch. "Going on a date with Amu later. I gotta leave now if I wanna be on time." Ikuto stood up, "Don't beat yourself up over it. We're in college now."

"College sucks." Kairi mumbled.

"It wasn't your fault." Ikuto walked to the door, "I'll catch you later."

"Yeah."

Kairi Sanjo: The Boy Who Graduated 4 Years Late

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Kay, I'm done. Love you guys. Review? Love? **

**You know the drill by now. Which did you like best? Which related to you most? Which one was saddest? **

**Feel free to tell me. **

**I promise I'll love you forever and ever. **

**Kay, bye. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So… hey… guys…**

**It's summer now~**

**God, I hate summer. **

**I break out. **

**But enough about me. I'm here to talk to my fabulous reviewers. **

**NekoKisses: **Gosh. ._. You tell me not to disappear. And I do. Sorry, a Pokemon trainer like me has a lot of saving to do. You think the cops would be more involved.

**XxNekoHentaixX: **Sorry for the uber late update, but thanks for falling for my story. My story sends you flowers and would like to take you out on a date. C:

**Evidence of Rain: **Dx I'm sorry my writing made you cry. I don't like crying people. SMILE. C: C: C: C: C: C: Try it?

**DarkFaerie0: **Sorry for the sadness! I'll try to post happier chapters!

**KidTantei: **Shoot! I hate it when I miss typos like that. -3- Thanks for telling me though :3 And, yeah, that was the first one with the charas. X3 I think I'm going to add them in more.

**I hope you all enjoy such lovely secrets. **

**Yes, I did change my penname from InstinctsDie to iwastetimechasingcars**

* * *

><p><strong>Disclaimer: Seeing as I more than likely write the characters OOC, I can't own it ^o^<strong>

* * *

><p><span>He's a straight-A, hardworking, funny, cute guy who I've been dating nearly 3 years.<span>

**He's never once hurt me. I don't get why you always seem to be so harsh about him, Mum. **

**So maybe he's not traditionally romantic, but he's sweet in his own particular, awesome way, and I love him. Deal with it. **

* * *

><p>Kairi gave a smile to Yaya as he set his drink on a coaster. She blushed a pretty hue of pink and gave out a small giggle. Amu sat next to him on the couch, her phone in hand with a smile playing on her lips.<p>

Yaya's mom never failed to notice this. Those smiles, the glances, the giggles when they don't even say anything funny. And she _never _forgot Amu.

"Yaya," Yaya turned away from Kairi and looked to her mother, "come help me get something in the kitchen."

Yaya gave another smile to Kairi before standing up and following her mother to the kitchen.

"What did you need help with?" Yaya asks, looking around the spotless kitchen. This was her mother's favorite room in the whole house. She could spend all day in here rather than in her own room because she could always distract herself easily with anything she found.

"Why is he always with _her?" _she lowers her voice to a harsh whisper. Her, definitely referring to Amu. "They always walk home together, they always come here together, and they always laugh at nothing."

Yaya blinked at her mother in disbelief. "Because they've been neighbors since Kairi moved here. She walks with him because she's scared of walking—"

"—He's going to cheat on you with her!" Another harsh whisper escaped her mouth, and spit flew to Yaya's face. She wiped it off with her thumb.

"She has a boyfriend—" Yaya tried to explain to her, calmly, I might add. Over the past years that she has known Kairi, she calmed down enough, only when her mom was around. There was a definite notice in her behavior change, but she was always smiling and asking for sweets like her usual self, just this time not as frequent.

"—Then why doesn't he walk her home?" Yaya reached for a candy off the bowl on the counter and unwrapped it. She placed it on her tongue—mmm, caramel.

Yaya was tired of explaining this to her mother. Amu was the one who introduced him to the group of friends that vow never to let the rest get hurt—Kukai, Nagihiko, Tadase, Rima, Amu, and Yaya. They even gave called their group 'The Guardians' back when they were in fifth grade. Back when Amu had a crush on Tadase. Back when Nadeshiko hadn't been in that plane crash. But back when Yaya had been that out-of-control girl that (unknowingly) made every childish act a silent cry for help from her home life. As for Amu's boyfriend, he was three years older than she was, and was supposed to be in 11th grade at the moment. But he traveled with a touring orchestra and only came down three times a year. He couldn't exactly walk her home—and Amu completely understood that.

"Mom," Yaya said, "I know he wouldn't hurt me."

Yaya gave her mom a half smile, and walked back in the living room with her two friends. Kairi put his phone into his pocket just as Yaya's phone buzzed. She gave him a smile, which he gladly returned as she pulled out her phone and sat down.

From: Kairi

_I love you :)_

Yaya smiled at it. He never used text style, but that was when she knew that he means every word—that he doesn't cut them short.

Yaya's mother came out of the kitchen with a glass of wine, and looking at all three of them.

"Alright guys," she said, I'm expecting company soon, so I need you to leave so I can clean up a bit." Yaya looked around—it was spotless. And the only company she would be expecting is her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend of 4 months, I might add—if you don't mind, of course.

Her relationships had never lasted as long as Yaya's had with Kairi—Yaya knew her mother was just trying to see how far their relationship can bend without breaking.

Kairi stood up, then, with one last text, Amu stood up and put her phone in her pocket.

"Thank you for letting us stay here again, Ms. Yuiki." Kairi said. "It was nice seeing you again, have a nice day." He waved bye to Yaya, and walked out the door.

Yaya smiled. No, she didn't need a goodbye kiss. She was happy with him being protective and sweet already. She didn't want to change him one bit.

Yaya looked until the door closed. She then turned on her heel to go upstairs. She had only walked two steps before her mom put her hand out to her chest to stop her. Yaya stops, and turned to her.

"How do you know he won't cheat on you?" She asked.

Yaya stopped and smiled, the way he protects her, the way he'll hold her when she cries, the way how he spontaneously tells her he loves her. She loves it, and she loves him.

She quickly recalls the day she first met him—not when Amu had introduced him, but when he was moving. She had been walking to Amu's house, exactly 5 years ago, saw him sitting on the house's porch with a lemonade in hand. She looked at him, he looked back. And for a moment they both just stood there, saying nothing.

And then she screamed at him. Not in the way any normal person would scream, but a Yaya scream. A scream that shows her hyper active ways.

That's right, she screamed-talked to him.

"Because I know he wouldn't hurt me." Yaya said, moving her hand away and walking to her room.

From: Yaya

_I love you too :)_

* * *

><p><span>My closest friend tried to commit suicide.<span>

**I was on the phone trying to convince him not to. I was on the phone for 6 hours crying and begging him not to.**

**He told me he wouldn't because me. **

**Almost every night, I wake up crying from the nightmares of that night. I worry everyday about it.**

* * *

><p>Kusukusu woke up sweating and panting. Her stuffed bear that she used every night was damp with tears. Squinting around the dark, she saw nothing but the alarm clock that read 3:37 in bright, boxy red letters.<p>

She turned on the lamp on the nightstand and sat up.

Flashbacks came at her like knives, and she could only barely dodge them.

She squinted her eyes and wiped the sweat off her forehead. She needed to talk to him. To make sure he was okay. She pulled her light hair back in a ponytail and turned on the overhead fan. She looked around the room for her cell phone, not quite remembering where she left it.

But her sister always had hers.

Suu was the perfect one, and Kusukusu had been jokester.

But Kusukusu was too scared to even bother waking Suu at 3 in the morning. So she picked up the home phone and quickly dialed the number she memorized by heart.

It rang once, twice, thrice, and a fourth time before a groggy "_Hello?"_ was heard.

Kusukusu smiled. "Rhythm."

The purplette on the other side of the line shifted in his bed before returning to the phone.

"_Kusukusu, it's too early in the morning for—"_ He began.

"—I know, I know." She shook her head, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Rhythm seemed to telepathically know what she was talking about, "It's been six months." He said, "_I'm okay, I promise." _

Kusukusu always made him laugh since that day, she made sure he wouldn't think about doing it again.

"_Can I please go back to sleep?" _Rhythm asked with a yawn. Kusukusu muttered a small 'yeah' before hanging up.

She smiled sadly—this was an oxymoron her English teacher could be proud of. Rhythm was okay—but for how long?

* * *

><p><span>I was a twin.<span>

**Not the type that sorta look like each other. **

**We looked identical. **

**The very same looks. **

**Two months ago my mom killed my sister. **

**Every day I wonder if she meant for it to have been me. **

**She was perfect. **

**I'm just one big failure.**

**I don't know if my mom meant to kill me instead or not.**

**But she should have. **

**I'm sorry Rosalie, I love you.**

* * *

><p>Nagihiko locked his bedroom door that day. The blinds we closed, curtains drawn, and every door shut. He looked painfully out the window, looking for a familiar black car to pull into the drive way.<p>

He pulled the phone out of his pocket and dialed the first number on his contact list—Amu.

He put the phone to his ear and kept his voice low. The buzzing seemed to never stop, but it finally did.

"_Hello?"_ Amu asked. She sounded as if she had just woken up, and she probably did—Nagihiko had called at 3 in the morning.

"Amu," Nagihiko said, whispering, "I need to talk to you, but I don't have much time."

"_Nagihiko," _Amu said slowly, _"It's really—"_

"Amu!" Nagihiko whisper-shouted, "You have no idea how scared I am right now. I am about to piss my pants and I just went to the bathroom."

Amu stayed quiet. _"What happened?" _

"Amu, how many times have you mistaken me for Nadeshiko?" Nagihiko said, he closed the curtain completely and pulled out a leather rucksack containing important papers, extra clothes, and hundreds of dollars.

"_I dunno," _Amu said, _"Lots of times, I guess."_

"Okay, Amu," Nagihiko began, "Listen _closely_. I need you to call everybody. And by everybody I mean our friends. Merge all the calls. Everybody needs to know because this is important."

"_Give me a minute. I'll call you back when I have everyone else on the line." _Amu said before hanging up. Nagihiko put the phone on the night stand and looked inside the rucksack.

"_Everything a runaway needs is in this bag." _Ikuto had said, showing Nagihiko the contents of the bag. _"Money, passport, clothes, dried food." _

"_And why are you showing me this?" _Nagihiko asked him at the time. Ikuto shrugged and turned to look at him, flipping his hair effectively.

"_You just show all the signs I showed when I wanted to run away." _Ikuto laid back down on the grass and closed his eyes, _"If you're thinking about running away, I could give you one of the bags." _

And Nagihiko bought two bags—one for him and one for his sister. His sister's bag is still in her room, hidden under her bed. But it would never be used—she was dead.

His phone vibrated on the night stand. He quickly picked it up and answered the call.

"Hello?" His voice was in a whisper. He moved the curtain only an inch to look for any cars.

"_I got everyone," _Amu said, she was more awake now.

"I don't have a lot of time anymore, my mom is on her way home from work—"

"—_At three thirty in the morning?" _Nagihiko recognized Kukai's voice on the line, _"Sorry." _He said as everyone stayed quiet.

"Okay, yes, my mom works the graveyard shift at the hospital." Nagihiko turned away from the window, grabbed his rucksack and slung it over his shoulder. "But that's not what I'm talking about, what I need to tell you guys—"

"_He's running away. That's what it is." _Nagihiko stayed frozen as he recognized Ikuto's voice.

"_You're running away! ?" _Rima's voice was panicked, not at all like her. _"Why?" _

Nagihiko smirked—no way was he about to miss an opportunity to tease Rima. "Aw, worried about me already? I haven't even left my house."

"_Don't flatter yourself. I just wanted a reason to tell the cops not to put your face on the side of a milk carton." _Rima was back to her snarky self, blunt and evil.

"_Now is definitely not the time to have your little arguments," _ Tadase said instantly, his voice was hard, as though he couldn't believe what he was saying. _"Nagihiko, explain."_

Nagihiko opened his mouth to speak, but nothing left his mouth as he heard tires rolling on gravel. He looked passed the curtain again and saw his mom's car in the driveway. "_Shit." _He cursed, highly unlike him.

But I need you, the audience, to keep something in mind—these characters are in a moment of panic. Their friend is running away. They are unable to, as you would possibly say, _keep their cool. _

"My mom is here," he said. "Okay, guys. Nadeshiko didn't just _die. _My mom killed her. You guys always mistake us for each other when we're in PE. I think my mom meant to kill me. I don't know where I'm going, or if I'm coming back."

His mom walked out of the car, locked it and began to walk upstairs.

"But I'm scared—I'm about to shit bricks, but I'll call you when I get somewhere safe." He hung up his phone, put it back in his pocket.

He opened the window, and climbed down. When he was close enough, he jumped—and he hit the ground running.

* * *

><p><span>When I was little I used to get my sister's tiara and put it on our dog.<span>

**Then I would put our dog up in the tree house. I would get my lightsaber and go and save the princess. Not all secrets are bad.**

* * *

><p>Utau was gone for the day, or something like that. Maybe he was exaggerating it.<p>

Maybe she would only be gone for an hour.

Oh well. One hour was more than enough time for him.

He grabbed the small pink and purple tiara and looked around the house—home alone again.

Success.

He walked out to the back yard, where his toy lightsaber had been hidden underneath an overgrown tree root.

Betty looked at Ikuto and wagged her tail. She opened her mouth, letting her tongue droop out to give the impression that she smiled.

He put the tiara in his mouth and attempted to pick up Betty.

It didn't work. He was just an 8 year old kid, trying to pick up a gun dog.

After much debate whether he should try again or not, he simply put her on her leash and put her on the far end of the back yard.

"No! I shall come save you Betty!"

Ikuto turned around and smiled, sure enough, there was Kukai. He had a blue lightsaber in his hands, by the fence on the other side of the yard.

"Come on Ikuto!" Kukai waved the lightsaber around, pretending to fight imaginary bad guys, "We need to get the princess!"

Ikuto put the tiara on Betty, who was already used to playing this game with Kukai and Ikuto after so many summer days spent alone with them.

Ikuto raced to where Kukai was, pulling out his green lightsaber.

And every day he was home alone for the rest of that summer, he called Kukai over and they saved Betty from the evil and imaginary evil warlock who doesn't have a name yet.

(But Ikuto keeps insisting it should be named after his step dad.)

* * *

><p><span>I used to have a crush on this girl in my year but I got over it a few months ago.<span>

**Last night I watched her play guitar and just for 10 minutes I remembered everything I used to feel for her.**

**It was really nice.**

* * *

><p><em>I wonder if you know,<br>I think about you almost every single day,  
>And it's embarrassing,<br>But it's no surprise to me,  
>That you, don't feel the same way<br>And you would never love a girl like me,  
>No, you would never settle for less,<br>and maybe one day I can be,  
>Your second best,<br>your second best__**(1)**_

Amu was big in the school for playing her acoustic and singing with Utau during lunch.

Tadase was big in the crush-zone for Amu.

Was.

The way Amu and Utau sang that song—what it was _about._

Memories came back to him like a wildfire.

The way he always tried to get her attention, the way he always tried to please her.

Then he realized she did the same.

Not to him, of course. To his cousin.

That had been the worst blow of all. And he hated it. Why was his cousin, the _nobody_, the one she had admired?

He didn't understand it, how he hated himself for not being the one she liked.

He remembered asking her out on dates, which, out of being polite, said yes to.

But it just wasn't enough. Anything he gave her didn't match up to the light jokes that seemed to cause her heart to jump.

He had been so envious of his cousin, that just the sight of Ikuto would set him off.

But after a while, he had stopped liking her. He got used to the idea that he was friend-zoned.

That he wasn't even second best.

The small crowd that gathered around Amu and Utau clapped lightly and walked away as Amu put her acoustic back in the case. Utau climbed off the table, wiping the back of her jeans off and walked with Amu to the lunch line, chatting away.

"Like the view?"

Tadase snapped his head to the left and ended up having to look up.

His cousin was looking in the same direction as he had, watching Amu and Utau walk away to the lunch line.

"Well," Ikuto tore his eyes away from the girls and looked down at Tadase, "do you?"

Tadase looked at Ikuto before answering. "Not anymore," he said, "She just reminded me what it felt like."

He walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>1: This is a song by Tatiana Resendiz, a YOUTUBE star. She's not signed. It's called Second Best. I don't own .-.<strong>

**A.N: So much poopier that I thought.**

**Yes, I changed my penname. InstinctsDie is having an identity crisis and is now iwastetimechasingcars.**

**So, you know the drill: Which relates to you most? Which did you like best? Leave a review complaining about my horrible updating skills. **

**And, hell, even leave a review about one of your favorite secrets. **

**And I might put it in this story. **

**Well, since I just saw the regular site, and the review button is now a box below the story. **

**It's the story's crotch box. **

**So, leave a comment in the crotch box. **

**And thank Shane Dawson for his funny jokes.**

**Bye! :3**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **

**.-.**

**Don't kill me. **

**I beg of you. **

**Disclaimer: As always, I promise you, my (hopefully) faithful readers, I still don't own Shugo Chara! or Six Billion Secrets. Let us have a moment of silence or something for the respective owners. **

* * *

><p><span>My dad committed suicide three years ago, when I was seventeen.<span>

**The last time I saw him was at the airport, and it kills me everyday that I can't remember if I hugged him goodbye. **

* * *

><p>She closed her eyes in frustration.<p>

Exactly 1,280 days ago and she could remember every detail—every god forsaken detail—up until 12:43.

12:36 PM:

"Are you done eating?" Aruto asked. Utau looked up from her eighth(?) bowl of ramen—she lost count. She even knows she lost count because she never paid attention. She blushed lightly and gave a gentle laugh.

"Yeah." Utau said, placing her bowl of ramen at the end of the table. Aruto grabbed his wallet and put a ten dollar bill on the table. Utau stood up, grabbing her wallet and putting it in her back pocket. Aruto smiled down at his daughter.

"So you gave up on purses, kid?" he asked. Kid had been her nickname, since, well, ever. He had seen her sing songs by Kid Rock every other day, (usually _All Summer Long) _and it just grew to be called kid.

Utau laughed in return, "You're right," she said, as they both walked out of the small restaurant in the airport. "They're so much more complicated than wallets."

12:38 PM

Utau's phone vibrated in her pocket, and as she walked out of the small ramen shop in the airport, she checked it.

_From: _Ikuto  
><em>Body: <em>Make sure dad has everything he needs before he gets here.  
><em>Received: <em>12:38 PM

She placed it back in her pocket, remembering her brother. He was in a traveling orchestra—as a matter of fact, he was in the traveling orchestra her father was joining. That's why he was at the airport today, he was going to meet Ikuto at the orchestra and travel for god knew how long.

That's why Utau had changed her Sunday agenda of listening to replays of All Time Low and One Direction songs while she had a one person dance party. And hell, if she was tired enough, she would invite her best friend over, and together they'd watch chick flicks—and (their favorite since they were in eighth grade), make sure to watch _Sleepover_ before resuming the dance party.

Utau's smile shifted off her face, and looked dead ahead. Her father was leaving, and she didn't know how long until he came back.

"What's wrong, kid?" Aruto asked, noticing the frown that formed on his daughter's lips. He placed a comforting arm around her shoulder. "If this is about the management—"

"—it's nothing with management," she said quickly, "Mom said she would handle it if they broke the contract."

Aruto looked at his daughter with concern in his navy blue eyes. He paused for a moment, noticing his daughter hadn't made eye contact with him as they grew closer to the gate.

12:41 PM

"Then what is it?" he asked, looking at her. She sniffled. Immediately, Aruto stopped her from walking, and got in front of her. Utau looked at the purple and black Vans that she had worn to celebrate her anniversary with Kukai. He was out of town, so in memory, she had worn the Vans he had gotten her when they challenged each other in the bet that had eventually gotten them into a relationship.

She crossed her arms over her chest, and sniffled once more.

"Kid—"

"—How long are you going to be gone, dad?" Utau looked up at her dad—her _daddy—_with tears brimming in her eyes. "What if mom leaves again? What am I supposed to do?"

Aruto's eyes softened at his daughter. In that moment, he saw what his daughter really was—scared.

It was true, he was going out on a limb, leaving the family and hoping—hoping to God—that his wife wouldn't leave his daughter alone before she graduated. She had already left once before, being gone for four months. Her excuse was that she didn't feel safe. He didn't probe farther into the situation, because she was uncomfortable just saying that bit of information.

"Kid—"

"—No, dad! I don't want to be alone! If mom leaves all I'll have is my manager and Amu!" Utau buried her face in her hands, sobbing. "Please, promise you can come back."

12:42 PM

"Utau," Aruto said. Utau, looked up at the sound of her actual name, "I'm always here. Your mom promised she wouldn't leave. And I don't plan on leaving either." He kissed the top of her forehead. "So wipe those tears."

With a pale hand, Utau wiped the tears off her cheeks. Aruto grabbed his daughter into a hug. She didn't hug back though. She just let herself be held—that was enough for the both of them.

"I'm going to miss you daddy." Utau said, being released from his grip.

12:43 PM

"_Last call for flight 143! Last call for flight 143!"_

"That's mine," he gave her a smile, "And I'm gonna miss you too, kid." He picked her up and spun her around, getting giggles out of her. He placed her down. "Make sure you get famous for me, one day."

"I promise, dad."

—

She remembered nothing else—but the memory gladly brought merciless tears out of her eyes.

* * *

><p><span>It was the fairest morning of this summer.<span>

**My whole family came to wake me up with Happy Birthday wishes.**

**And then you came, kissed me tenderly and I was in the clouds.**

**Then you had to go and get my surprise. **

**You said you'd be back by 2.**

**You never returned.**

**Crying people. Truth that still doesn't occur to me.**

**Darling, come back…**

* * *

><p>They were running around the interstate—which interstate?<p>

"I haven't found the hostages yet!" one officer called to the other. The other wiped stress-sweat off of his forehead and looked around helplessly.

Yelling, crying and fighting were going around in the area I was in, at least, as far as I knew.

"Mom?" I looked up to my mother, watching her face with worry. "What are we doing here?"

She bit her bottom lip nervously, as crystal-clear tears glazed her eyes. There was a gunshot—from I don't know where. And everything seemed to stop.

"_He loves me… he loves me not… he loves me… he loves me not… he loves me…" _

_Opening my eyes, the first thing I saw was blinding lights. Not literally, but in the summer, when you're waking up—I dunno, in the middle of the day—it's pretty bright out. But I was inside. My curtains were just opened. _

_But when the blinding lights were easier to bear, and not so blinding, I saw purple. They were my favorite hue of purple. _

"_Utau," I smiled at her. And she smiled back._

"_Happy birthday," she said, "Kukai."_

She flinched, and my dad put a protective arm around her. They whispered little words to each other, ignoring me.

"Kukai!" I had recognized that voice, before I could turn around, I heard it again, "Kukai! Over here!"

Turning, I saw Nagihiko and Tadase. Tadase stood in front of Ikuto, talking to him00 trying to do something to change him. Seeing Ikuto, he was upset, very upset.

I jogged to them, dodging between clusters of people who faced the interstate entrance, where all the police cars were. Being it summer, the sun had yet gone down. It was going to though, I could see it.

"Do any of you guys know what's going on?" I asked, looking at the three.

Ikuto didn't acknowledge my presence, instead he angrily spat whispers at Tadase, who took them, absorbed them, and let them sink. It didn't have an effect on him, though.

From what I could barely make out from Ikuto's words, I could hear "Sister… gun… kill"

_She leaned over, placing a small kiss on my lips. She smiled—I felt it—before breaking the kiss and sitting up. _

"_It's really pretty this morning," she said, looking out the window._

"_I guess it is," I sat up too, grabbing her chin and facing it so she could look at me. I kissed her, and I could feel her smile again. _

_She placed her hand on my chest—and I swear to god, I could feel every indentation of her fingerprint. "Kukai," she said, turning her head, "Put a shirt on!"_

_I stopped, and laughed. "Does it bug you that I have no shirt on?"_

"_I don't want your parents walking in and see you have no shirt on!" _

"_They don't come home until the afternoon," I kissed her again, "Don't worry."_

"There's a group of hostages being held on the interstate." Nagihiko explained quickly, "He's demanding to be killed, or he kills each hostage he has."

"Why would he do that?" I asked, looking at the cops that ran around and screamed at each other.

"Because they're too scared to kill themselves," Nagihiko said, "You see that guy?" He pointed to a built cop with a mustache, "He's the chief. He's calling all the strings. He's on the phone with the guy who's holding the hostages to negotiate."

"_Kukai!" she squealed with a smile on her face, "Stop it!"_

"_But it's my birthday!" I mock-whined. She pretended to pout and stuck her bottom lip out. She laughed, and had a mock-quizzical expression on her face. _

"_Hmmmmm…." She said, "Maybe, just once."_

_I smiled at her, kissing her again. "Alright. So will it be Mario Kart or Super Smash Brothers?"_

_She laughed, "Kukai, you're such a horn dog in the morning!"_

"Who are the hosta—" Immediately, my eyes were torn away from Nagihiko and I looked at Ikuto. I had to double take to focus my vision.

"My. Sister." He growled. "And neither of us can save her."

"_Don't call me a horn dog, or I'll start acting like one," I winked at her, teasing her. She grew pink at the wink._

"_You hang around my brother and Amu too much," she said, "I have to go—"_

"—_don't leave me!" I said, dropping on the floor to her feet. "You can blame it on me!"_

_She laughed, "I have to go get your present! It's a surprise."_

"_Be back soon?"_

"_Before two."_

"_Promise?"_

_She kissed me one last time, "Promise."_

There was another gun shot, and everyone flinched again. The chief cop cursed loudly. The area quieted.

And a whisper.

"He's killed all the hostages."

The next line, he yelled: "Shoot him!"

More gun shots were heard, and screams from the audience that was captivated by the bloodshed.

And for the first time, I saw Ikuto cry.

* * *

><p><span>I had sex for the first time today.<span>

**I have a small frame and it hurt.**

**So much that I wanted it to stop.**

**I thought he'd get upset, but he didn't.**

**My boyfriend just went to the kitchen, got some popcorn and soda, and turned on a movie he'd already had set up.**

"**I thought we should make this a date," he said.**

**I think I fell in love.**

* * *

><p>Oh god, Rima.<p>

You're just so stupid, stupid, _stupid. _

How could you do this—for crying out loud, you haven't even graduated yet!

Seriously? Having _sex? _

And for god's sake, you had to make him stop because you were in so much pain.

He probably hates you now.

Cock block.

"Rima?" Nagihiko yelled from the kitchen. Upstairs in his room, I was still having trouble finding my pants.

"What?" I yelled back. I cursed the man. He had found his boxers in the matter of seconds, and shrugged them on in half the time. He didn't even bother wearing pants. He just walked clean out.

"Do you want the regular?" He called back.

The regular? What is this regular he speaks of? I don't remember anything regular about coming to his house except for arguments we have.

"I'll just take that lack of answer for a yes!"

The little prick.

"What if I didn't want the regular! ?" I said, standing in the doorway. It was right in front of the staircase, which was straight from the kitchen. He saw me and I saw him.

And _god, _I sure like it when he doesn't wear pants.

"Rima put some pants—"

"Have you ever thought about what I want? The regular? What if I wanted to spice things up today? !"

"That's why I asked what you wanted!" He said, "Can you please put some—"

"I will not put my pants on!"

"Then put _something_ on! I can't take you seriously in those undies!"

"I can't take _you_ seriously without pants on!"

"Are you saying you _want _me to put pants on?"

"I'm saying pants are vital in this relationship so we can take each other seriously!"

"I am not about to have a relationship with you that's as strict as Kairi and his studying policy! So let's skip the pants today!"

"You just told me to put pants on! Make up your mind, Nagi! Do you want pants or not?"

"Don't ask me! I can't win with that question!"

"Aha! You have admitted to having perverted thoughts!"

"What? Where did you get that from? !"

I stuck my tongue out at him, and went back inside the room, looking for my pants.

Honestly, it's not that hard to find pants.

Nagihiko came back up, a pack of Twizzlers in his mouth, a tub of popcorn in his hand, and two Dr. Pepper cans in the other. He walked over to the bed, and set everything on the nightstand.

"Are you okay?" He asked, walking to the TV in his room and turning on the DVD player. "You aren't hurt or anything, are you?"

"I'm better now." I answered softly, looking for my pants under the bed.

"Sorry." he said, "Let's make the most of the night, at the least." He moved to the shelf above his desk and pulled out a movie. "Is _Rat Race_ fine?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, "Whatever you want."

"Rima! Are you seriously still looking for your clothes?" He laughed.

"Shut up."

"Just wear something of mine." He left the entertainment center, walked to his dresser and pulled out a pair of Coke pajama bottoms. He tossed them to me, which failed ultimately, and landed in the halfway point between the space of me and him.

I walked over and grabbed the pajamas.

"Are these the ones you—"

"—Yep."

"You still have them?"

"Why would I get rid of them? That was our first unofficial date."

I smiled down at them, before slipping them on.

Nagihiko turned off the lights, grabbed a blanket from a stack in his closet and walked to his bed. He climbed on his bed and patted the spot beside him. "Let's just make it a date then."

* * *

><p><span>I taught my brother's parrot the words "I'm watching you."<span>

It was funny to see him freak out.

I won't tell him it was me though.

* * *

><p>Temari gave the bird another cracker. It squawked again before grabbing the cracker.<p>

She heard a door open and close. She looked back to the parrot, whispering "Don't forget!"

The parrot only continued to eat the cracker as she raced out of the room.

**0_0_0_0_0**

Temari stayed awake that night, listening for the fateful words.

"Rhythm!" The parrot squawked, "Rhythm!"

"What?" Groaned Rhythm.

"I'm watching you!"

* * *

><p><span>My best friend left me a voice-message when he killed himself.<span>

**I didn't answer because we'd had a fight over something stupid and I was angry at him.**

**I could have helped him. **

**I will never forgive myself.**

* * *

><p>"<em>Um, hey… Yaya…"<em>

Yaya bit her bottom lip to keep the tears back, reciting each word she remembered thinking when she first heard it: _You deserve this pain. You deserve every god forsaken ounce of it._

"_Listen, um," _There was a sniffle—an indication he had been crying. The thought had surprised her at first. She had never heard of Kairi crying. _"I'm really sorry. You know, about, um, today. I didn't mean what I said—I could never mean that."_

"I never meant what I said either, Iri." Yaya whispered, using the nickname that Kairi had grown to be embarrassed with. "Never."

"_I know you're mad—actually, the more I think about it, which has been a lot, the more I think a more suitable word is 'pissed.'" _Kairi sighed, and sniffled again, _"My sister— she's um…"_

At first, when Yaya heard this voicemail, she didn't believe it was her Iri—her green-haired samurai Iri. She thought it was a joke someone was playing and weren't getting it right. Kairi never stumbled or stuttered for the right words to say, he always had them.

"_She's not going to be okay after all." _Kairi had managed after a long pause. The first time she heard it, she thought the voicemail cut off or something. _"She already left. She was depressed, Yaya. What if—"_

A choked sob came out, and it squeezed Yaya's heart whenever she heard it.

"_There's just nothing more. There's nothing left to live for."_

This part, her teeth relinquished the tight hold it had on her bottom lip, and she cried. A loud sob escaped her lungs, and she dropped her phone. She scrambled to pick it up, and put it next to her ear.

"_I didn't mean to make you mad, Yaya." _Kairi said, _"But I just can't stay here anymore." _

The voicemail ended there. But Yaya hadn't cared. She'd saved it, thinking he'd come out of nowhere and say "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so dramatic." But he never did.

She had to accept the fact that she wasn't there to keep him alive, though it killed her inside.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS**

**DUN DUN DU-DUN**

**TO CATCH THEM—**

Crap, wrong fandom.

Well, there you have it. Your next installment of Six Billion Secrets.

So which was your favorite? Which did you hate the most? Why? Are any of them special to you? Which made you saddest? Got a secret you want me to use?

You know what you should do?

*whisper* Leave it in a review.

_Why, _thank you! That's an impressive idea! Yeah! Leave it in a review XD

It's the best choice you can make ;D

Also, if you look on my profile, it has a small, but ever growing list, of stories I'm interested as writing as fanfiction before I use them for an original idea.

So go check 'em out.

And, you know, tell me which you like best.

And hell, maybe I'll use them.


	6. Chapter 6

To all the bullies out there…

**Stop putting other people down.**

**You don't know their life inside out.**

**You don't know their inner thoughts and feelings.**

**Insulting that kid again because of their insecurities could be just that thing that pushes them over the edge.**

**And it will be all your fault.**

* * *

><p>The only thing she could look forward to was her therapy group. Utau never felt alone in her group.<p>

Maybe if her brother had joined, he wouldn't have felt al—no. Her brother didn't know about this opportunity and neither would she if it hadn't been for him.

"They just don't understand anything." A girl on the other side of the circle spoke. She fidgeted with her long sleeves as she grew pink from the attention placed on her. "I'm getting sick of it." Utau never really associated with her but she could recognize her from school. Her pink hair was the most eye catching out of them all.

"Amu," a small blonde next to her looked at her as she addressed her, "They're not supposed to know how we feel. Their lives are perfect."

"Perfection is an impossibility based on a fake reality." A boy only two seats down from Utau said, he fixed his glasses. "Their lives aren't perfect, that's why they act like that."

"It doesn't give them a right." Utau uttered under her breath. "It doesn't give them a right to treat anyone like garbage so in turn that person could use their body like it's the garbage we're forced to believe." Louder this time, "We aren't garbage, so why do we get treated like it?"

The therapist in the back of the room watched the exchange happen, but now butted in, "Because the bully feels like garbage."

Utau looked up at the blonde therapist, and with tears threatening to spill out of her violet eyes, she said, "That's not a reason."

0_0_0_0_0

Utau wore sweaters or long-sleeves to school every day. She wasn't a self-harmer, but rather bulimic. Of course, she was model skinny, but even models purged like she did.

Today it was a black tank top, with a black and blue striped sweater, unzipped. It had the comforting scent of her brother, because she had placed it in his closet, still filled with his dark clothes.

Lunch had started, and as usual, from fourth to the music room was a treacherous walk through the quad.

She brought her microwave ramen to school every day, eating it in the music room, only to be out of her system when she got home.

From the corner of her right eye, she could see a crowd gathering by the area where the popular students gathered at lunch everyday like a cult. A chorus of 'ooh's echoed, followed by an annoyingly high voice, purposefully being loud to show the power she had.

Utau kept walking to her destination, catching insults thrown at the individual.

Now, Utau didn't ever try to stop something like this from happening, this was normal and usually staff would put a stop to the commotion fairly quickly, but, looking around, she didn't see any staff.

"Could you get _any_ shorter? That's ridiculous at how short you are!"

"And you always say that your pink hair is natural, but really there's only one way to prove that, right, Hinamori?"

"Where do you get your clothes, anyway, Amu?"

Utau stopped and looked toward the group. She could barely see a head of bright red hair towering over a smaller figure of cotton candy pink hair. She learned her name yesterday in the therapy group, and this was one of the cutters.

"What are you hiding under those sleeves?"

There was a yelp as she could see the pink-haired girl try to get away, but as the red head grew frustrated, she angrily shouted for someone to hold her down. Quickly, someone obliged to hold Amu down.

Amu pleaded for help as she tried to kick the other girl off of her. Immediately, Utau broke out into a run at the group. She tackled her way to the center, angry cries behind her, and looked at Amu on the verge of tears as (someone she recognized) Saaya Yamabuki was over her, trying to lift the sleeves.

"Not so tough without your friends, are you, Hinmaori?"

Utau, adrenaline rushing through her veins, picked Saaya off of Amu from the back of her shirt and threw her as far as she could, which in reality, was only two feet away. Turning back to Amu she hit the pressure point found under the ear and behind the jaw quickly and roughly of the person holding her down—the way her brother had shown her. The person holding Amu captive let her go, as their hands went up to hold the cheek.

Utau lifted Amu up, only to be thrown down herself. The force knocked the wind out of her, and she tried her best to roll over to her left, narrowly missing a purple stiletto heel aimed for her hand. She looked up at the bearer of the heel to see Saaya. She stood to the side Utau face, a mere 6 inches away from her hand, and by the looks of it, Saaya was contemplating on doing worse to her than stepping on her hand.

"Now what the hell do you want? Mind you own fucking business." The red head spat. She stomped on Utau's hand, which instantly recoiled close to her stomach.

Saaya squatted down to get closer to Utau. She opened her mouth to fire more insults at her, but was swiftly knocked on her ass as Utau's good hand swung in front of her, hitting both stilettos off the ground. A small yelp escaped from her mouth as she struggled to get up. Utau stood, clutching her pained hand at her side, and with her good hand, lifted Saaya few inches off the ground by the Peter Pan collar of her shirt.

"_Stop putting other people down_, _just because you feel down._" Utau said through clenched teeth. _"You don't know their life inside out." _She glanced at Amu. "If you repeat that insult again, you could drive someone over the edge, _and it would be all your fault." _Utau swung her foot in front of Saaya's feet and let go of her, causing her to fall again. Utau stepped over the body and walked past the crowd and straight on to the music room.

0_0_0_0_0

When she walked into the music room, there was a violin case on the center of the table with a post it note on it.

_Found your brother's violin. Thought you'd want to take it._

Utau put her ramen down and carefully opened the latches on the case. She opened it up and was filled with the nostalgic smell of resin. She recognized the violin, as indeed her brother's violin and placed a careful hand on the smooth crafted wood.

"Utau?"

Utau quickly shut the violin case with her good hand and turned to the voice. In the doorway, stood Amu, fixing her sleeves so they wouldn't show the scars they both knew were there.

"Yeah?" Utau asked, trying to cover the violin case with her body.

"Thanks for today." She looked at the violin case. "That was Ikuto's, wasn't it?" She looked up at Utau, "Before he OD'd?"

* * *

><p><span>I work at a movie theater, and I'm one of the few people who actually like cleaning the theater.<span>

**Why?**

**Because while I'm cleaning, I dance to the end credit songs.**

**I look forward to it every day.**

* * *

><p>I swear to god, I did not think my dancing would become this.<p>

Dancing at the end of a movie with no one but my co-workers to watch. At times, he danced along too, because it was a good song.

"If you're such a good dancer, why do it here?" Kukai asked, sweeping up a giant mess of popcorn.

"My mom and I got into an argument when I didn't want to do dancing," I shrugged, "Got the job here and _bam! _Dancing to end credit songs every day to compensate."

"What kind of dances do you know?" Utau shouted over the front row as she picked up left over food trays and cups.

"Tons!" I answered back. "Ballet, traditional, contemporary, jazz, hip hop, tap, ballroom, and a bit of country."

Kukai laughed from the back of the theater. "Tap? Seriously?" I nodded, "Let's see it then!" He looked over at Utau, who gave him a thumbs up in agreement.

"I can't exactly tap in these shoes," I tapped my heel and toe against the floor to prove it.

"Well add some country in it!" Utau laughed, racing up the stair to where I was. Kukai hopped down the seats to my row, watching.

"Come on, we'll imagine it." He encouraged.

I laughed, "Alright, but imagine real good, okay?" I put on a fake country accent, "Y'all ain't seen nothin' yet."

Utau and Kukai gave a laugh as the chorus of the song began.

_Get your kicks, on Route 66  
>Well it goes through St. Louis,<br>Joplin, Missouri,  
>Oklahoma City looks oh, so pretty<br>You'll see  
>Amarillo<br>Gallup, New Mexico  
>Flagstaff, Arizona,<br>Don't forget Winona  
>Kingsman, Barstow, San Bernardino<br>Won't you get hip to this timely tip?  
>And take that California trip?<br>Get your kicks on Route 66_**  
><strong>

As instinct, my feet tapped along to the beat, pausing to do a mix of country in it. And when the chorus ended, I took a bow, earning a clap from Kukai, Utau, and someone behind me.

I turned around, face to face with a petite strawberry blonde.

"Nice dancing, but I dropped my phone in this row." She said, "Have you seen it?"

Slowly, we all shook our heads at the sudden visitor. She muttered a sarcastic 'thanks' as she walked past us to where she had sat during the movie. She bent down under the seat, and pulled out a black phone. She held it up at us and went down the stairs to leave the theater.

Utau gave her the bird as she walked out.

* * *

><p><span>I had a bad asthma attack when I woke up so I decided to just go to the hospital and not attend class.<span>

**I didn't expect any messages from my friend cuz I know they'll just ask me the next day, but then my phone vibrated and I got a message from one person.**

**I nearly died when I saw my crush's name on my phone.**

**The most amazing person ever?**

**She cared.**

* * *

><p>The antiseptic smell wasn't something he was quite used to, but he grew used to it as the hours passed. The nurse that was assigned to him was quite helpful with the oxygen tank and all of his other needs.<p>

"Is that all, Tadase?"

Tadase looked away from the blanks walls that had nothing other than educational posters and wall decals. In this room, it was Super Mario Bros. themed.

He gave a kind smile to the nurse, "Yes," he said, "Thank you."

The nurse returned the smile and turned out the door, gently closing it behind her.

Tadase dared to take the oxygen mask off, only to be reunited with the constricted feeling of his lungs as he had trouble to breathe again. He quickly reattached the oxygen mask, relief filling him. Even in that one second, his breathing had become almost nothing.

He steadied his breathing and looked at the clock on the wall, trying to figure out what class he would be in if he were at school.

Right now, he'd be in second period, where everyone secretly annoyed him to no ends because of the endless chatter.

Well, almost everyone. The only one who didn't talk in class was Amu Hinamori, simply because she didn't particularly have any friends in that class. She sat in the back of the class, not wanting to attract unnecessary attention, or being pelted by the spitballs.

The two kind of had a deal, where if there was a class project that needed a partner, they would instantly pair up. It was like some kind of rule that no one, not even them, understood.

Secretly, he liked her. He liked how she tried to brush it all off, even though he knew it bothered her. He liked how they had an unrequited relationship because she liked someone else. He liked how she refused to work with the other students, and how she managed to get paired with him otherwise somehow amazed him. He liked how she never revealed too much about herself but just enough to wonder what was behind the façade she held so tightly.

The only thing he didn't like was that she didn't like him.

Well, he pondered more thoroughly, maybe that's what made him like her more.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, followed by a soft _ding_. He pulled out the iPhone and quickly slid his thumb across. It opened to his messages screen. His heart did a somersault, landed, made a perfect ten, tried again and kind of kicked his lungs because he then began to cough. He put his phone on his leg, as he tried to stop the cough attack without removing the inhaler.

Though, soon, he stopped and a smile returned to his face as he read the message.

_Just saved you from being partnered with Saaya. We're doing a project on the French Revolution._

Then another came up.

_So why aren't you here? You never miss a day. _

He laughed, the carefree smile plastered on his face now. Not the polite ones he gave to his seniors because they deserved his respect, but because he was happy. He typed back a reply.

_Asthma attack. Sorry for missing, thanks for saving me._

* * *

><p><span>When my cousin died in a car crash I was devastated.<span>

**I felt like I lost my older brother.**

**I don't like talking about it because I feel like someone will go and say:**

"**He was just your cousin."**

**But he's not.**

**He wasn't.**

* * *

><p>Ikuto Tsukiyomi was the one Tadase Hotori was always compared to.<p>

Never Nagihiko, Kukai, Kairi, or anybody else for that matter.

It was always Ikuto because of his stoic attitude that people would mistake for carelessness compared to Tadase's polite and charming manners. The adults and little girls loved him for being such a good kid, scolding their daughters that they shouldn't be liking someone like Ikuto, and rather be liking Tadase instead.

The girls in question would say they love Tadase because he was always a good friend to them—he was a good friend to everyone because everyone deserved to be treated the same.

On the other hand, Ikuto just managed to let the girls want more because of his mysterious actions. It's not like Ikuto meant to, but this had caused him to get the bad reputation of the two. He seemed to always shrug it off because he always had other things to worry about.

Parental wise, Tadase was always to be favored.

But Ikuto was the one with the talents. He could balance on a tightrope like he was a cat, and play the violin like it was coded in his DNA.

Talent scout wise, they were always going to want Ikuto.

The two of them had made quite the pair. Going to high school together had been an adventure for them both. The older boy had nicknamed his cousin 'Kiddy King,' giving him the prince-like reputation. And somehow, Ikuto had gotten the 'bad boy' reputation. The two of them had been confused about it, joking because Ikuto was not the kind to do that. If anything, the teachers had given it to him because of his truancy record, and somehow slipped in between a cup of coffee shared between a student to spread like an epidemic.

The reputation had caused him to attract more girls, unfortunately making every dad hate him. But he had set his eyes on someone from Tadase's year, and despite her efforts, Ikuto had managed to get the girl.

But as quickly as the reputation spread, word about his death spread even quicker.

His girlfriend had been left shattered, because he had given her all the unforgettable memories in the world, and now only one had it—like it was a secret.

Tadase had been left out like a sheet that was supposed to dry on a sunny day, but ended up raining. Nobody had gone to retrieve him, and left him wet with tears on a nightly basis. He never talked about, not even to his parents—because to his parents, they were just cousins, unknowing of their strong bond that held tighter than duct tape.

It was one of his worst fears—having his cousin shrugged off because not only was he dead, but he wasn't a brother.

He was more.

* * *

><p><span>She liked astronomy.<span>

**She would stare through this telescope for hours and point out all her favorite constellations.**

**I think she liked the idea that there are millions of stars and planets out there. **

**She liked lilies, fittingly.**

**And I liked her.**

…***loved her.**

**I don't know why the cancer took her and not me.**

* * *

><p>"Kairi!"<p>

Kairi looked up from the book he was reading, looking straight through his balcony doors. The windows were spotless—the way he liked them to be.

From the other side, he could see his neighbor waving her arms frantically to get his attention. She called again, "Kairi!"

Kairi gave a sigh and slipped on some shoes. He left the book on his bed, and walked to his balcony. His neighbor could see him, and stopped waving as frantically. She motioned him to come out to his balcony, so that they could talk face to face.

He turned the knob and walked outside. The crisp air cooled him—something a bookworm like him would eventually need to get used to. He closed it behind him and walked to the ledge.

"Yes, Yaya?" he asked calmly. Looking at her balcony, he could see that the lilies she planted a few months ago grew brighter than before. The chairs on her balcony was clean, suggesting she was constantly on the balcony—he wouldn't know. He was usually reading in the study.

She pointed to the telescope that pointed upwards towards the starry night.

"Can you help me locate a few stars?" She smiled at him, "It looks amazing."

He glanced at his wristwatch—10: 32. He _should _be asleep or finishing his homework that he had yet started, but the book he was reading was far too interesting to put down for anything he deemed unimportant.

He looked once more at Yaya, who had her pleading eyes on. Oh, Kairi knew he couldn't resist it. He was going to help her.

"Fine," he sighed, Yaya squealed in happiness. "I'll just go downstairs and—"

"No!" she said quickly. "Just hop over. It's not a big gap."

Kairi looked at the gap. Sure, he could hop it if he were anywhere near athletic.

He gave Yaya another glance, and once again, was met with her pleading eyes. He inwardly groaned and looked around his balcony for an extra boost. Seeing something useful, he dragged it to the end and stood up on it. Yaya watched as Kairi carefully placed his best foot on the railing, followed by the other. He gave a little hop and placed his foot on Yaya's railing, only to slip and fall. His back slumped against the railing and his glasses askew his face. He gave a small glare at the giggling Yaya.

He stood up and walked to the telescope.

"What did you need to find?" he asked. The telescope was very clear, almost new, and zoomed in and out quite smoothly. He was familiar with telescopes, and how difficult it could have been to focus them. Yaya had focused it to his amazement, though he kept quiet about it.

"Orion's belt." She said, picking up a pencil and a worksheet. She picked up a hard cover textbook to use to write on. Kairi looked down at the text book that depicted the area around the group of stars and up at the sky. When he believed he had found it, he would use the telescope to get to the location. And after finding it, he would let Yaya look at the telescope. Her eyes would beam brightly, as she looked from the telescope to the worksheet, back to the telescope and answered some questions.

This process would continue, and that's how they stayed the whole night. She cracked jokes and offered him candy that he would give a chuckle to and refuse. He would walk around the balcony, looking at the lilies, nearing the peak of their bloom. Yaya would begin to get the hang of it, and she would be the one showing Kairi the constellations.

And in the end, it had become a tradition. Once a week, when the stars were brightest, Kairi would hop over and together they'd look at the stars together through the telescope. Kairi would read books on it, and they would share their knowledge of what they could see.

Then her hospital visits that had been a daily thing, had become overnight trips. The tradition would only be once a month, and sometimes, Yaya couldn't get up to move all the way to the telescope. She had sufficed for books on the constellations instead. Kairi would just hop over and they'd just sit there all night, stargazing.

Her lilies began to wilt, and everything on her balcony had slowly gathered dust. To him, the stars didn't shine much brighter.

And he knew what had happened to her when he was given the telescope that was on her balcony for so long. He had used it constantly, but had ended up setting it up in Yaya's balcony instead of his own. He had begun to water the lilies that he knew would never bloom again, because they probably missed her too.

In the end, nothing felt the same without Yaya.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Sorry for the extreme lack of updates.**

**Well, look: summer break, no extra curriculars, no (as far as i know) complicated classes.**

**Just me, watching episodes of Doctor Who and rewatching Code Geass.**

**Okay, so I honestly feel like the last secret was something completely different from what I usually write. **

**Please tell me how it is, and feel free to complain for my disappearance. **

**Read and review x3**


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